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Seeing Red…Again

March 8, 2010

Unfortunately, these posts are becoming all too familiar and I’m over it to say the least.  Mr. B and I were enjoying a relaxing weekend until…yesterday.  After spending the morning lounging around, I got up to go to the bathroom.  Low and behold, brown spotting when I wiped.  At first, I didn’t freak out too bad.  I mean, I just went through the same crap a week ago and it went away pretty quickly.  This time, I wasn’t so lucky.  Every time I went to the bathroom, the brown turned to pink, then brown again.  This jolly ole time lasted until bedtime.  Again, I take it as punishment because Mr. B and I did the unthinkable on Saturday night…we went baby browsing.  Of course we didn’t buy anything but I guess we had no business looking either.  Lesson learned!  I think we’ll be putting off the “nursery daydreaming” til about 30 weeks or so if I make it til then. 

After falling asleep easily, I woke up at 2 am with cramping.  Mind you, I’ve  had constipation from hell for the last week so I was having trouble deciding if the cramping was from my gut or my uterus.  A trip to the bathroom was the deciding factor.  I got a toilet full of blood!  Not bright red but more of the “brick red” nature.  I cleaned myself up and went back to bed.  All I could think about was that my baby was dying.  I have never been so scared before in all my life.  I went back to bed and debated on whether or not to wake up Mr. B.  I didn’t want to scare him if it was nothing but it really didn’t feel like nothing.  I opted to let him sleep as the next wave of cramping started.  Back to the bathroom…rinse and repeat.  I headed back to bed again praying the cramping would stop and it did.  I managed to fall back asleep until Mr. B got up for work.  I filled him in on the night’s events and he was quite worried. 

I called Dr. RE’s office at 8 am and filled the nurse in on my night.  She instructed me to go to the clinic to have things checked out.  Blood work was drawn and it was off to the ultrasound room.  When the tech walked in the room, I lost it.  She was very comforting and asked me to recall what had happened.  I got through it and got on the table.  As soon as the dildocam went in, we could see the baby wiggling all around with a strong heartbeat of 171.  I cried with relief and squeezed the shit out of Mr. B’s hand.  Our little baby seemed to be doing just fine.  The culprit was our infamous “second sac”.  The ultrasound showed that the sac had collapsed and had fluid around it.  So, it seems that the bleeding is a miscarriage of sorts…but of the sac.  Dr. RE spoke with Mr. B and I afterwards.  He’s always a cool cat but he could tell that I was visibly shaken.  He explained that our baby bean is doing great and measuring on target.  He also explained that I could expect this bleeding to potentially continue for about a week and it could alternate colors too.  Oh boy!  This fun gets to continue?  BULLSHIT!  On one hand, I am relieved beyond words that the baby is fine but I’m angry as hell because I haven’t had a moment of joy or relaxation because of all of this.  Every time I start to get happy, I am knocked to my knees.  And I can’t help but wonder if all of these “events” are preparing me for the big one when the baby will be gone.  For now, I will be on bedrest til Wednesday and I’m hoping to sleep for most of it.  Wish me luck!

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8 Comments leave one →
  1. March 8, 2010 12:11 pm

    Oh my God I am SO GLAD this post has a happy ending. My heart was pounding while I read it!

    Hang in there, dear — you’re doing everything right! Thinking of you!

  2. March 8, 2010 1:53 pm

    I’m sorry you are on this emotional rollercoaster from hell. I wish you peace while on your bedrest and that little bean to be safe.
    GG

  3. March 8, 2010 2:29 pm

    I am so glad things are OK with baby. I was so worried reading this until I read that everything is OK. We pray so hard for a BFP (which I have yet to see!), and then there is still so much to worry about. I’m glad things are OK, and hope you don’t get any more scares.

  4. March 8, 2010 3:24 pm

    I am so sorry for all that you have gone through mentally and emotionally BUT so so so happy to hear that bean is okay. I have never frowned so big and then smiled so big all in the same post. Stay strong momma, hang in there-and go baby shopping before 30 weeks!

  5. March 9, 2010 2:27 am

    Keeping you in my thoughts. I really do believe that you will make it through this and Baby Bean will come out shiny, healthy, and new right on target!

  6. March 9, 2010 4:03 am

    Glad that both you and the baby are doing great! I was reading your post thinking the worst.. I am so glad all ended well… Enjoy your bedrest, put your feet up and I know it’s not easy.. but try to concentrate on the positive news you got today…!! Thinking of you!!

  7. March 9, 2010 1:39 pm

    I am soooo sorry you had to go through this last weekend. I’m so glad that you and baby are doing ok. Enjoy your rest and I’m keeping you and the bean in my thoughts!

  8. March 14, 2010 9:46 pm

    just checking in on you. so sorry you’ve had to stress about all this, but happy to read that everything is okay. please update us when you can!

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