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Up-HEAVE-al

February 17, 2010

Heaving is how I spend my nights and started this morning.  For the last week or so, I’ve been a gagging fool when it comes to taking my pre-natal vitamins at night after brushing my teeth.  And don’t get me started on flossing!  I’m hoping my teeth don’t rot out of my mouth before the 9 months is over at this rate.  Flossing has become torture.  So, this morning, I spent time hunched over the toilet heaving like no tomorrow with tears streaming down my face.  Sad tears because I hate puking and happy tears because this means the beans are still growing?  At least I hope so.  I will find out tomorrow morning when I’m back to Dr. RE’s office for my 7 week ultrasound.  It’s less that 24 hours away and I’m counting down!

This past weekend, I had an awful miscarriage dream that I’d like to forget and I’m still having trouble letting go of my sense of doom.  I feel like I’m in a constant state of YUCK and no food on this planet appeals to me which is crazy since I wake up every morning wondering what my meals will include.  Ummm, not so much!  My constant trips to the bathroom have also slowed down.  I’m not sure if that has any significance or not…only time will tell, I suppose.  And since I’ve been driving Mr. B nuts, along with myself, we both decided it was time to visit my good ole therapist to get some strategies on how to wrangle my anxiety.  She’s usually pretty good at bringing me back down to earth.  I hope she can now, more than ever. 

I know I’ve been an infrequent poster as of late but I feel like no one wants to hear my pissing and moaning about how freaked out I am about being pregnant.  It still blows my mind to even think that’s true.  But I genuinely thank all of you for your comments and reassurance.  Please keep it coming.  Until tomorrow…

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2 Comments leave one →
  1. February 18, 2010 12:07 am

    Sweetie I am so sorry you are feeling so sick!!! Then again like you said, it should help reassuring you that all is ok! I am 6w4d and have had no m/s and think it’s bad sign..! I think we need to get used to being worried about our babies.. that’s what mommies do isn’t it?! HEHE!!On a serious note, I hope seeing your therapist helps.. Keep posting and let it out on here, we can all relate!!! Hang in there sweetie!!

  2. Sarahlouise1980 permalink
    February 18, 2010 3:50 am

    No way, we love hearing from you. Sorry you are so sick though, that really sucks. I hate nausea, it is one of the worst feelings in the world. Well good luck tomorrow, I’m sure everything will go great. I can’t wait to find out what they find.

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