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And This???

January 26, 2010

So, what do you think about this???  It still doesn’t seem real.  I loaded up with lots of HPTs yesterday afternoon and will keep the POAS marathon going until I’m convinced that the bean(s) are sticking around.  It’s my new obsession and it’s all I think about.  Can anyone relate?  This whole infertility thing really does a number on you.  Most people would be overjoyed with my recent developments and don’t get me wrong, those lines are the most beautiful lines I’ve ever seen in my life.  The problem is I’m terrified they will disappear.  My plan is to call the fertility clinic this morning and beg to have my Beta moved up…if not today, then tomorrow.  How good will the number be?  Will it double?  Will I continue to feel all the tweaks and twinges in my pelvis or will that go away?  If they go away, does that mean that the bean(s) are going away too?  Will we see a sac in a couple of weeks?  Will we see a heartbeat a couple of weeks after that?  Will we make it through the first trimester unscathed?  Will we have a healthy baby(ies) in 9 months?  When do I get to relax and enjoy this?  I am truly blessed to even have 2 lines at this point.  After all, Mr. B and I have only been dealing with infertility for a few months…not years like alot of people.  Can it really be possible that we got a lucky break?  Are we on our way out of the Land of IF?  I’ll believe it when I see it…screaming in my arms in nine months.  Any words of encouragement or stories to share about your experience?  I’d love to hear them. 

P.S. Thanks for all of the wonderful comments yesterday.  I tried to comment on some of your blogs but WordPress wasn’t having it.  I’ll try again today.

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8 Comments leave one →
  1. January 26, 2010 8:17 am

    I do believe you are preggo 🙂 Although I understand the obsession until you know that everything is okay. I am so happy for you.

  2. January 26, 2010 8:47 am

    whhohhooo!! I feel the EXACT same way. It is too surreal. It is a bizarre twist of being the happiest I have ever been to being totally numb and in shock. Even when people post comments saying “congratulations!”, and “good luck with your pregnancy”. Im like, huh? Are you talking to ME? I just keep thinking it is some sick joke and that it will soon be taken away from me.

    Well, I’ll just say GOOD LUCK to you! I’ll be following along.
    (-:

  3. January 26, 2010 12:23 pm

    That is a beautiful picture. So very, very happy for you!

  4. Sarahlouise1980 permalink
    January 26, 2010 1:49 pm

    I am extatic for you, congrats Mommmy!

  5. Erin permalink
    January 26, 2010 2:23 pm

    So awesome!! CONGRATS and hang in there with staying positive… 🙂

  6. January 26, 2010 10:34 pm

    I am 28 weeks, and let me tell you. Until the baby is born and appears healthy, you’ll continue to worry (I know I still do), but it does get better! Nothing you can do but take good care of yourself. The rest is out of your control. Try to enjoy it! Congrats!!

  7. January 27, 2010 5:21 am

    Those look like pretty great positives to me and they are darker by the day.. that is a GOOD sign!!!! Congratulations!!! If you get your beta moved up… this website might become your new favourite website: http://www.betabase.info/!! Good luck and keep us update!!

  8. Stephanie permalink
    July 28, 2010 5:31 pm

    Hey! I am just catching up on your blog ( I didn’t know you had one until the other day), even though I’ve been “talking” to you since we both did the IVF (almost at exactly the same time). Anyway, all that being said – I LOVE your blog. It brings back memories. And when I saw that FR test and the beautiful “Pregnant” I teared up (granted, I’m 30 weeks preggo). I was just thinking how you must have felt b/c I know I will NEVER forget seeing that wonderful word for the first time after ttc for four years. What a journey!!

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