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Why Are People So Lame?

January 11, 2010

First things first…Follie Watch 2010.  Went back to the clinic this morning and all’s well.  I now have 25 beauties growing and growing.  My right ovary is still the winner with 16 follicles.  The lead follicle is 14.5mm.  11 of the follicles range from 14.5 to 10 mm with 5 stragglers between 6-9mm.  My left ovary now has nine follicles with the lead at 13mm.  6 of the follicles range from 13 to 10mm with 3 stragglers at 5mm.   My Estrogen is up to 1520 and I am feeling it.  It’s getting a little crowded in the ole uterus.  So far, I’m not suffering.  Just a little uncomfortable but I’ll live.  No Follistim for me tonight.  I wish I was skipping the Menopur and the dreaded evening injection but not so lucky.  The good news is that these shots should be over in a couple of days.  I’m just trying to keep my eye on the prize…Egg Retrieval on Friday!  Back to the clinic tomorrow.  Rinse and repeat.

Now to my next topic.  Why are people so lame?  Why do they feel the need to say the most ignorant things to me about having children.  Yes, I suppose it is my fault that I told some of the people in my life about our IVF journey.  Overall, I am glad that I did because I have gotten great support from some.  Others… not so much.  And I can’t really blame them.  I didn’t know much about IVF and infertility before becoming a member of the club but I would hope that I wouldn’t have been such a complete and total dumbass with diarrhea of the mouth!  In the last couple of weeks, some of my “Fertile” friends have remarked to me after screaming at their children, “Are you sure you want to do this?” or “You can have my kids”.  OK.  So, these comments get under my skin but this afternoon’s comment drove me over the edge.  I was talking to my friend (mother of three) and she asked me how everything was going.  I mentioned the term “Egg Retrieval” and she freaked.  I broke down the whole process for her and she thanked me.  She honestly had NO idea about how any of it worked.  She asked me how much it was gonna cost and I told her $12, 000.  Her response was, “Wow!  Know how much it cost me to get pregnant?  $2 for my beer.  All my husband had to do was look at me and I got pregnant”.  My response was, “That’s why people like me hate people like you!”.  I just couldn’t help myself.  I know she didn’t mean to hurt my feelings but it just goes to show the level of ignorance that’s out there concerning Infertility and the feelings of infertiles.  Any ideas on how to combat “Fertile” ignorance?  I’m open to suggestions.

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3 Comments leave one →
  1. January 11, 2010 5:10 pm

    I totally agree. People can be so lame, ignorant and insensitive. The only way I know how to deal with them is to avoid them all together!

    So it looks like we are just a fews apart on the IVF journey. Best of luck to you!

  2. January 11, 2010 5:50 pm

    Ugh, unfortunately I can completely relate. When I told one of my friends I was going to start doing medicated IUI’s because the three natural ones didn’t work, she blurted out: “Call me when I can come visit the triplets!” I wanted to punch her in the face.

    And it’s been the same for me, a few of my friends have been really great, and a few have made me not want to be friends with them anymore.

    Alas, I have no advice other than to tell them how you really feel. Tell them that that their comments are hurtful and that saying things like that make them sound ignorant. But that may or may not work depending on how close you are to them… When all else fails you can come here and bitch about them, we’ll all be sure to listen and commiserate. =)

  3. January 11, 2010 10:22 pm

    I think people just honestly don’t know what to say. My best friend (while pregnant with her second) informed me that if she was in my position, she would just adopt. While she said this, her perfect 2 year old was running around our feet, and she was rubbing her swelling belly. I wanted to die. I felt like it was so hurtful and cruel for her to say that, and to minimize the amazing thing her body was able to do without even trying. It actually turned into the biggest fight we ever had (more of a one-sided fight, where my poor best sat silently and shocked while I screamed and cried and called her names). We of course made up (I felt like an ass for taking all my frustrations out on her), and I realized that she really is just worried about me and what happens if I go through cycle after cycle of disappointment, but it just made me realize that even the people who love me the most may never know how to relate. Sometimes it feels very lonely, doesn’t it?

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