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To Tell or Not To Tell

December 10, 2009

That was the question.  There were pros and cons for each side of the coin and Mr. B and I struggled with the decision.  Ultimately, we both decided that key people in our lives needed to know about our upcoming journey into the land of IVF.  Of course, my parents and his mother know the intimate details.  We both figured that the parental units would be upset if we kept THIS secret from them.  We also did it for self-preservation.  You see, my parents have joked about “the triplets” since Mr. B and I were engaged.   Are you sensing that my parents are more than ready to be grandparents???  They have “Grandbaby Envy” like no other and they are not afraid to admit it.  When Mr. B and I go out to dinner with them, they admire all the babies.  They shamelessly remark about how cute the babies are and how they wish they had one or two…or three!  My mother even started collecting heirloom infant outfits for special occasions, baby booties and the like.  Are you feeling the crazy yet?  Welcome to our world.  Imagine our surprise when we had to sit down with them and tell them thier triplet wish could be granted…well, not really.  This Inn isn’t open for triplets.  My womb is single or double occupancy only and at the rate of IVF, we’re hoping for double occupancy.  Anyway, after my parents got over the shock of it, they were extremely supportive and offered to help in any way they could emotionally and financially.  For that, we are grateful.

Mr. B’s mother was a little different.  She was more concerned with the WBCs in Mr. B’s semen rather than the lack of healthy swimming sperm in the semen.  Which, for my mother-in-law, is par for the course.  She typically gets caught up with the inconsequential details rather than the big picture.  We’ll just leave it at that, shall we?

I also told a couple of my closest friends.  My reasoning behind this was for self preservation and the hope of support.  These friends are the ones who would call every 28th day for the last 5 months to see if I was pregnant.  I felt like they needed to know that they could stop calling.  Who’s to say if and when I’ll have that news to share and having a monthly reminder wasn’t what I needed.  They were supportive to a degree but I could tell they weren’t sure what to say.  And what could they say?  They’ve never had to deal with this.  They are among the “Fertiles”.  Getting pregnant and giving birth was easy for them.  I have a whole new respect for the old addage of not knowing what it’s like until you’re going through it.  Other friends don’t and probably won’t know until we have good news to share.  For now, we’ll leave it at that.

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