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A Date with the Dildocam

November 15, 2009

Last Thursday, Mr. B and I had our initial consultation at the local Fertility Clinic.  Waiting til Thursday felt like forever but it was finally time.  We got to the office and signed in.  Then, I started to panic.  Were we really gonna have to do this?  The nurse called us back and took a thorough history.  She was young, blonde and nice.  I immediately had the feeling that she and I were gonna get to know each other quite well.  She left and a sense of dread washed over me.  I didn’t know if I was gonna puke or crap my pants.  Fortunately for me, neither happened.  Then, Dr. RE walked in.  He looked over our file and gave us a quick lesson on the “Birds and the Bees”.  Mr. B listened intently hanging on his every word.  As for me, I knew how all this stuff was supposed to work.  I’ve been studying it like a mad woman for the last 5 months.  All I could think was: Is this doctor really gonna go through the Egg Meets Sperm flip chart with us???  He did and I suppose it wasn’t all that bad.  But I was ready to get down to business.  And apparently, so was he!  He whisked me off to the lab room where the phlebotomist drew a vial of blood to test my hormones.  Then, it was off to the Ultrasound room.  I reminded Dr. RE that I was on my period but he was unphased.  It was at that moment that I realized they’ve seen it all.  I’m not so different.  My modesty was checked at the door.  I laid in the dark on the exam table and that’s when I noticed the machine…with the Dildocam.  I had heard of him and sure enough, there he was waiting for me.  Ugghhh!  Then, the ultrasound tech walked in and got down to business.  The good news is that everything looked fine.  I even got the lab results back…all normal.  Mr. B and I went back into the consultation room with Dr. RE.  He was optimistic but matter of fact.   Mr. B will have a repeat SA done on Friday.  While the results of the repeat SA could show improvement, Dr. RE wasn’t expecting it.  Intrauterine Insemination (IUI) looks like it’s off the table because of the amount and quality of Mr. B’s swimmers.  Given what we are working with, it looks like IVF with ICSI is our best option.  But for now, we will wait and see. 

The last couple of weeks have been very long and emotional, to say the least.  There have been alot of tears.  I’m also becoming very anxious about what all of this will mean for me…hormone injections… being poked and prodded often…stepping on the emotional rollercoaster from hell with the inability to get off.  But what’s funny is that Mr. B and I are closer than ever. We’ve had alot of candid talks about where this path may lead but we are committed to taking the path together.

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