Look what I have. My very first Blogging Award. How exciting! This award was bestowed upon me by my IVF cycle buddy, Laura @ http://pleaseletthisbeit.blogspot.com/ who got her BFP the same day as I did. I’m hoping and praying for healthy beans for both of us in 8 months or so. (Forgive my lack of blogging skill. I can’t figure out how to insert a link so I’m doing it old school.)
The instructions that go along with this award are as follows:
•Thank the person who nominated you for this award.
•Copy the award and place it in your blog
•Link the person who nominated you for this award.
•Tell us 7 interesting things about you
•Nominate 7 bloggers
•Post the links to the 7 bloggers you nominate.
Here are 7 interesting things about me (even though I don’t think I’m all that interesting):
1. I met Mr. B online and he was half price! He is the love of my life and I’m so blessed that fate brought us together, along with eHarmony, of course : )
2. I never sing along to the radio or ipod in the company of others. I am a closet singer.
3. My hometown team just won the Superbowl! Just in case pregnancy and progesterone didn’t stir up enough emotion, the events of the last few days certainly have. What a great time to be in this city!
4. Whenever I’m feeling down, I get lost in Sex and the City episodes. Those four ladies made me feel normal when I was a single, thirty-something trying to find love. I’m a “Charlotte”, by the way.
5. It took me 5 1/2 years to graduate from college. Better late than never.
6. I waited until I was 18 before going to a bar for the first time. Back then, 18 was the legal age for drinking. I was also a freshman in college too. Those first couple of months on campus were pretty rough before then. As you can see, I’m so not a rebel.
7. I love Italian food. Smother anything with red sauce and sprinkle garlic on it…I’m there!
To pay it forward, I nominate the following Bloggers:
1. http://journeytobaby1.wordpress.com/. She’s a dear friend who’s also struggling with MFI and PCOS. Wish her luck with her upcoming IUI.
2. http://babydreaming.wordpress.com/. Another dear friend who’s probably the most courageous woman I know. She’s suffered repeated losses but always finds the strength to pick up the pieces and try again.
3. http://sarahlouise1980.blogspot.com/. She’s also a pal dealing with MFI. Check out her journey from no sperm to some. And she’s in the process of buying a new home. Wish her luck!
4. http://bankingonafamily.blogspot.com/. I found this amazing woman through the blogosphere. Her IF journey has been quite bumpy but she’s not giving up. Get ready to cheer her on in the next leg of her journey.
5. http://ventingvagina.wordpress.com/. Another friend and great support met through this community of bloggers. She is gearing up for her first FET. Stop over and cheer her on.
6. http://ourgreathope.blogspot.com/. Go over and meet this incredible woman who’s pregnant with triplets. Follow her pregnancy journey and offer your support.
7. http://findingmymomgenes.blogspot.com/. I know Laura already nominated her for this award but I wanted to give her a “shout out” as well. She’s having a rough time after her shitty IVF outcome and the loss of her cousin. Go give that girl some support!
For now, that’s all I’ve got. Still waiting for Thursday so get another look at the bean(s). Trying hard to stay sane til then.
Today, I had my 1st pregnancy ultrasound. Gosh…typing that seems really wierd and reading it out loud is even more wierd. Anyways, my uterine blood flow remains excellent and my lining is still plush and thick. My 4th (and final) Beta is 2798. From here on out, the only levels they will continue to check are my estrogen and progesterone. My final PIO injection was Tuesday night. YIPPEEEEEE! I started the Prometrium tablets yesterday. They had a very interesting effect on me. I felt like I was buzzed and relaxed. It was a great feeling…almost like the Valium made me feel on ET day. I actually kinda liked it. Maybe being in a Progesterone induced fog will help me to relax about being pregnant. I say if it helps, BRING IT ON! When the nurse called me with my levels today, she told me I only have to take one pill at bed time. I’m hoping it will help me sleep better because I’ve acquired this pain in the ass habit of waking up every morning at 4am and it sucks! We’ll have to see if that works out.
In reference to my ultrasound…we have ONE sac nestled perfectly in my cushy womb. The ultrasound tech saw a shadow which, as she described, could be nothing OR it could be another sac. Dr. RE reinforced what she said by saying that we shouldn’t be surprised if we have another sac by next week. He is very pleased with how I am progressing. I go back for another ultrasound next Thursday (at 6 weeks) where Mr.B and I will hopefully see one, if not two, heartbeats. If all continues to go well, I will remain under Dr. RE’s care until the 9th week. Then, it’s graduation day. I’m trying to enjoy each day of this experience even though I still stare in the toilet every time I use the bathroom on the lookout for blood. I really wish I had a “fast forward” button to take me to 13 weeks. But I would certainly put it in slow motion during the heartbeat ultrasound to capture that moment. I swear it felt like it took forever for today to get here. Now, I have to wait another whole week for the next milestone. All of this waiting is torture. Please Thursday…get here soon.
Today, I woke up feeling better and more optimistic. I just got back from the Dr. RE’s office. I’m pleased as punch to report that my 3rd Beta is 1087 which continues to progress right on target. I rattled off a list of all of my symptoms and I reminded him of my bleeding episode, all of which unphased him. He’s not concerned with my symptoms because my ovaries are still pretty enlarged and riddled with cysts. He told me that my ovaries should be back to normal in a couple of weeks, if not sooner. His only instructions for me were to become a “Lady of Leisure” whenever I can and to avoid stress and freaking out . Our next milestone in this journey is an ultrasound on Thursday where they should be able to see the sac(s). So far, I’m feeling much better about things and trying my best to take it easy and stay calm.
I’m happy to report that…knock on wood…I haven’t had any other episodes of bleeding other than after the Friday morning poop. Mr. B and I have just been lying low this weekend trying to think of other things other than scary pregnancy stuff. So far, it’s kinda worked. He leaves this afternoon to go back out-of-town for business which means I’ll be at home alone with lots of time to think about everything I’ve tried to neglect. Tomorrow morning will be my 3rd Beta. I think I’ll be able to breathe a little easier if the number is still rising. Then, the next hurdle will be the heartbeat(s).
Last night, we had a date night…dinner and a movie. We had dinner at one of our favorite restaurants and I kinda had a mini-meltdown. Looking at the menu overwhelmed me. I was trying to remember the things I need to avoid and I was coming up blank. Which cheeses are evil? Is that sauce or that dressing safe? Tell me about seafood again? It was not cool. As you can tell, I’m a tad bit high-strung when it comes to protecting these potential people growing inside of me. I opted for the chicken with broccoli and corn. And as soon as I got home, I was sure to Google “Foods to Avoid While Pregnant”. That label still seems so foreign to me. I’m Pregnant? Really???
By the way, thanks for all of the wonderful comments and words of encouragement. They really have made this time easier for me. Y’all are the best!
When I got up this morning, I went to the bathroom. I strained a bit to have a BM and looked down and saw bright red blood in the toilet. The area of blood was the size of a quarter with no cramping or clots. I totally lost it. I went to the clinic for my 2nd beta as scheduled and had my uterine blood flow ultrasound. I cried throughout the ultrasound and the tech really did her best to calm me down. I am so thankful for that. She even continued to reassure me with each measurement of my lining (15) and ovaries and anything else she could give me a number on. The good news is that the blood flow in my uterus is excellent standing up and lying down. And when the ultrasound tech took the dildocam out, there wasn’t a speck of blood to be found which was of some relief to me. I’ve been to the bathroom a few times since and no blood. I then sat down with my nurse and I lost my shit again. She gave me a hug and tried her best to calm me down. She told me that 80% of their patients have some type of bleeding/spotting. She wasn’t overly concerned as I recalled the events detail by detail. She said if my numbers continued to double, we could rest easier. I left the clinic and drove home sobbing like a fool. Is the story really gonna be that I only got to be pregnant for a week. Is it all going to be taken away from me now?
As soon as I got home, my nurse called with the second beta number which is 374. It doubled!!! She told me to relax and take it very easy this weekend. The RE also said he wasn’t concerned and told her to reassure me. I am going back on Monday at 8am for a 3rd Beta just to be on the safe side. If all continues to progress, I will have an ultrasound Thursday to see how many sacs are in there. So, just in case I wasn’t terrified enough, I really am now! I’m beside myself with worry and now I get the added pleasure of having a panic attack every time nature calls me to the bathroom. It’s going to be a very long weekend.
Got to the fertility clinic this morning at 8am and got my blood drawn. After that, it was off to work to spend the morning on eggshells. At 10:30am, I finally got the call. Drumroll please……………. my Beta is 171 at 8dp5dt! OK. Now it seems real. The nurse was very happy with the number and she also reported that my estrogen and progesterone levels are great too. Mr. B was soooo happy. So was I for that matter. I’m still scared as hell but getting that number allowed me to feel happy and somewhat relieved all at the same time. I called my parents and they were ecstatic. If you remember from an earlier post, these two have been chomping at the bit for a grandbaby and this is the closest they’ve gotten to date. I reminded them that we still have many milestones to go before sharing with everyone else and they agreed to keep the good news on the DL until further notice. Hmmm…we’ll see how that goes. It was really hard to focus on anything other than the good news. I can’t wait til Friday. Please let the numbers double. Please. Please. Please.
And a question for any of you reading this who got a BFP after IVF/FET. Does the aching and lower back pain and extreme bloating go away? If so, when? My pants can’t be buttoned so I’ve been wearing dresses to work. Please let me know what your experience has been. Thanks!
Here’s your latest installment. It still doesn’t seem real. I’m still terrified. My best friend encouraged me to try my hardest to stay calm. Anxiety, which in turn, creates high blood pressure for me and that’s not good for the bean(s). Lots of deep breathing happening over here, if you know what I mean! In other news, the nurse called me back yesterday and agreed to let me come in TODAY for my Beta. 8am can’t get here soon enough. I’m ready to jump the next hurdle of the doubling Betas. Aside from my anxiety getting the best of me, I am very grateful I am going in to the clinic today. That means my next Beta will be on Friday where they will also do an ultrasound to monitor the blood flow in my uterus. I think I know why they’re doing that scan but I’m not really sure what they would do to improve things should the flow be low. I guess I’ll worry about that on Friday if it happens. I will be back later today to post what I’m hoping will be a strong Beta number. Until then…
So, what do you think about this??? It still doesn’t seem real. I loaded up with lots of HPTs yesterday afternoon and will keep the POAS marathon going until I’m convinced that the bean(s) are sticking around. It’s my new obsession and it’s all I think about. Can anyone relate? This whole infertility thing really does a number on you. Most people would be overjoyed with my recent developments and don’t get me wrong, those lines are the most beautiful lines I’ve ever seen in my life. The problem is I’m terrified they will disappear. My plan is to call the fertility clinic this morning and beg to have my Beta moved up…if not today, then tomorrow. How good will the number be? Will it double? Will I continue to feel all the tweaks and twinges in my pelvis or will that go away? If they go away, does that mean that the bean(s) are going away too? Will we see a sac in a couple of weeks? Will we see a heartbeat a couple of weeks after that? Will we make it through the first trimester unscathed? Will we have a healthy baby(ies) in 9 months? When do I get to relax and enjoy this? I am truly blessed to even have 2 lines at this point. After all, Mr. B and I have only been dealing with infertility for a few months…not years like alot of people. Can it really be possible that we got a lucky break? Are we on our way out of the Land of IF? I’ll believe it when I see it…screaming in my arms in nine months. Any words of encouragement or stories to share about your experience? I’d love to hear them.
P.S. Thanks for all of the wonderful comments yesterday. I tried to comment on some of your blogs but WordPress wasn’t having it. I’ll try again today.
